When I started my medical residency, I never thought that my work with women will be more on the mental than on the physical level. I have discovered fear patterns that were at first inconceivable to me, and nowhere to be found in the easily accessible literature. Understanding psychology should not be a privilege for the BA students. Everybody should know and be able to work with the basics. Classical psychotherapy can be replaced with pro-active coaching in most cases. That is why I standardized my findings into Femindipity. It can and will help anyone willing to go through the 7-steps. Everyone deserves to be healthy and happy, without the stigma that goes with having undergone clinical therapy.
I was born in Romania right after the communist regime fell. Growing up as a girl in a conservative country which was just discovering freedom of speech, feminism and all the gifts a lot of people take for granted was not easy. I was lucky that my parents understood that investing in my education was esential. I started learning English when I was 3, the house was filled with books on science, my teachers were inspirational. My environment has played a great role in modeling me and I will detail these aspects in the upcoming podcast. Now I would rather tell you the story of how I got into medicine and coaching.
It might seem cliché when I say this: I did not find coaching, coaching found me.
From a very young age, I loved to teach. Passing on the knowledge and help others has always given me pleasure. So a career in medicine fit me like a glove. Not only that I could teach my patients how to live healthy lives, but I could also play an active role in literally saving their lives. My interest for #womenshealth has been there from the beginning and I never thought about another specialty till my psychiatry course. I fell in love with #mentalhealth. It was fascinating to work with patients on that particular level so, when the time came to choose a residency, my heart was torn.
The babies won.
But soon enough I came to the stunning realisation that working as a gynaecologist implied a lot of unofficial psychotherapy:
- psychosomatic pain
- pain exacerbation due to anxiety and other psychological ailments
- anxiety due to organic ailments, including cancer
- pregnancy anxiety
- birth anxiety
- postnatal anxiety and depression
Almost every patient that I ever saw received various doses of psychosomatic or psychotherapeutic care, be it in the ER, delivery room or ICU. I was stunned when I found out that the majority of my other colleagues were not as invested as me in offering this extra care, and supported the stereotype of the ”emotionally distant and disease orientated” doctor.
At one point, I came to this realisation: there are hundreds of thousands of doctors who can treat a DISEASE, but very few of them can treat the patient holistically – and I am one of them. Therefore I decided to fully embrace my unique talent and slowly detach from my clinical work in order to help women in a different manner: online.
I started a non-profit blog where I would post medical information using accessible language for my patients. I used my maiden name and addressed it to women in Romania, where the medical system is deeply flawed in many aspects. My first Youtube videos were not perfect, but they drew attention and soon enough I had thousands of women reading my articles and joining my facebook group, where I would answer diverse medical questions and hold LIVEs on different subjects using a psychosomatic approach.
The recognition I got from my online patients motivated me to carry on. Many informed me that their anxiety had dropped, that they became more conscious of their bodies, that they had amazing vaginal deliveries using the calming techniques I had discussed. They approached me privately for therapy so, without even knowing, I had started coaching.
In my opinion, psychotherapy overanalyses the past and gives few solutions. The main idea is to help the patient come to terms with the past. It is not short-term goal orientated, so the results do not come fast (months, years). It is mostly indicated to people with psychiatric problems (bipolar disorders, depression). The majority of the population does NOT need psychotherapy.
That is why, when you first see a psychotherapist, the professional will state the diagnosis and decide if you qualify for this form of complex therapy. You might be better off seeking marriage counselling, life-/ career-coaching, other unconventional therapies.
In coaching, the focus is on the present and is goal-orientated. The lessons from the past are used to change the present in order to create a better future. It is motivational, inspirational and action-driven. The ”patients” are clients and results show up even after a couple of minutes. There are different types of coaches, so the first meeting aids in determining if that coach can help the client with that specific problem.
So that is why I chose coaching and not psychotherapy. I am pro-active and I want FAST results for my clients. For example, their anxiety levels drop after a 10-min. session. After 30-min., they have acquired mental tools to help them overcome this sensation every time they feel the stress return. It works the same in group calls, where I only focus on an imaginary patient. These breakthroughs have motivated me to expand my trainings and to come up with a standardized method for clients with more difficult cases.
Femindipity is my signature healing method and can be used in every situation I encounter. It is teachable and adaptable to any coach, that is why Diana chose to tailor her programme around its principles. I will describe it in my 2020 book so that anybody can have access to these learnings. If you want to learn more about it, check the programme below:
I have been writing since I was a kid, from poetry to screenplays. My first published novels are of a fantasy dragon series, at the moment in Romanian. The translations have been sent to English publishers.
I love animals, especially cats. The 3 of them have taught me the meaning of patience. They are one of my unconventional forms of therapy and yes, I do recommend getting a pet to most of my clients.
At the moment I live in Cologne, Germany.